FairestCat ([info]fairestcat) wrote,
@ 2006-07-05 02:00:00
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Entry tags:porn, recs: sga

In which Cat feels very exposed
All over the slash closet post (which I still haven't made it all the way through replying to comments on) I kept reminding people that slash is not all about sex and it is in fact possible to talk about slash for hours without revealing TMI information about one's sexual proclivities.

And it's true. I really believe that.

But I felt a little twinge every time I posted it, because the recs post I've been working on?

Pure, unadulterated, kinky smut.

This is not the stuff I talk about with my family.

This is the stuff I feel almost uncomfortably exposed reccing. Which in it's own way is why I do it. Because I believe in owning my tastes, even when it requires pushing my boundaries a bit. And the fact is I read a lot of smut, and I'd feel dishonest if I didn't rec the good smut along with the more plotty stuff.

All SGA. Mostly, but not all McKay/Sheppard.

27 recs in two posts.

Get your smut here and here


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[info]mzcalypso
2006-07-05 02:06 pm UTC (link)
LOL!

It's tough being honest.

I do understand your variations on the theme - but it's much the same as saying that being gay is not just about sex. That's absolutely true in many ways for many people much of the time... but there are two small, very important ways in which it is about sex.

The first is what people see: a non-breeding pair. And human curiosity being what it is, the mechanics of what's different will get infinitely more attention than the mundane details: who gets which side of the bed, who takes out the trash, who does the dishes or runs the vacuum cleaner or mows the lawn, making a living, juggling schedules, getting the kids (if any) to school and extracurricular activities... Humans seem to require constant reminding that the things that make us alike are far more numerous and important than the things that make us different. Sex is a red flag for any species because the strongest animal drive beyond breathing, eating, and sleeping is reproduction. We're hard-wired for it.

The second item is, I think: we (slashers and GLBT) do not, at our best, accept the Judeo-Christian concept that sex is inherently sinful. We (and rational non-slashing het folk) differentiate between the problems caused by irresponsible expression of sexual needs - everything from hurt feelings to unwanted pregnancy to AIDS - but we don't assume that the consequences of bad judgement are some kind of divine vengance. We basically assume that sex is a good thing, and as the hormones settle down it becomes a lovely part of life that is for the most part made up of the activities listed in the previous paragraph.

For me the biggest attraction of slash has been the idea of a loving partnership of equals. And hell yes, that includes sex!

I think the reluctance that most of us share to discuss sexual matters in detail with family comes from an ingrained incest taboo. And I think the incest taboo is a very important, beneficial boundary. Yes, even in same-sex pairings... because the sex drive is part of what drives a child out of the nest and into the world, and too-long childhood is likely to produce a dysfunctional adult.

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[info]and_chocolate
2006-07-05 07:15 pm UTC (link)
Because I believe in owning my tastes, even when it requires pushing my boundaries a bit.

That's always a tough one. Women in Western society spend far too much time either being told that we're asexual and without desires or being made to feel like our desires are unacceptable. I really respect your choice to stand up to that.

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[info]fairestcat
2006-07-06 06:17 am UTC (link)
Thank you. It's something I've been consciously trying to push myself on recently, because I'm no longer satisfied with merely being unhappy with societal expectations and more involving sex, I feel like on a personal level I need to be countering them somehow, in order to be more comfortable with myself. I remember a time when I first entered fandom when I was afraid to even comment on a PWP, because I was ashamed to admit publicly that something turned me on.

Now I'm posting sets of kink-recs, but that nervousness and fear never completely went away, I've just gotten better at fighting it.

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[info]and_chocolate
2006-07-06 06:23 am UTC (link)
I remember a time when I first entered fandom when I was afraid to even comment on a PWP, because I was ashamed to admit publicly that something turned me on.

That sounds familiar, except in my case I had to have a drink before I could write a sex scene, even one that wasn't particularly graphic. The last decade has wrought a lot of changes on that front. *g*

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